I can't believe it, But I am running in circles again. Blinded by the flash , I took my precautions and well.. I willingly got blinded.
These days I sleep fitfully, Always dreaming, these bloody dreams.. I get up in the morning all disoriented always eating up my morning dividing the real and the unreal. And there seems to be simply no boundaries on what I dream, they all come together just to frustrate the shit out of me and throw me into pathos of depression.
I have been reading Kenneth Anderson's Jungles Long Ago where somewhere he talks about the fake morning that precedes the real by 30 min. He talks about the various animals you can meet that call it a day. And well, what should I dream but an uncanny resembling jungle torn between day and night and I am trying desperately to hide from all the animals that surround the bush I am hiding in and mad with rage. Lord the scariest so far.
And then the other day I am haunted by all those previous 'ppl' I was with and relive all those worst times I had with them, exaggerated million times over.
I am going to take an unusually long time this time to recover from something that should not have bothered me so much. Then again it has to happen to me only.
6 comments:
may be its time to just let go and live on
Its easier said than done.
I'm listening to this song that almost perfectly fit.
In too deep by Sum 41:
The faster we're falling,
We're stopping and stalling.
We're running in circles again
Just as things were looking up
You said it wasn't good enough.
But still we're trying one more time.
Maybe we're just trying too hard.
When really it's closer than it is too far
Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Instead of going under.
Seems like each time
I'm with you I lose my mind,
Because I'm bending over backwards to relate.
It's one thing to complain
But when you're driving me insane
Well then I think it's time that we took a break.
Maybe we're just trying too hard.
When really it's closer than it is too far
Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Instead of going under.
Instead of going under.
Instead of going under.
I can't sit back and wonder why.
It took so long for this to die.
And I hate it when you fake it.
You can't hide it you might as well embrace it.
So believe me it's not easy.
It seems that something's telling me,
I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Instead of going under.
Instead of going under again.
Instead of going under.
Instead of going under again.
Instead of going under again.
Instead of going under again.
May be you should try "Its all over now, baby blue" by Dylan. You know what you chose to listen may matter sometimes. Besides Sum 41's lyrics is akin to a toddler yelling compared to Dylan's so why not listen to it. Don't just hear it. Listen to the words and groove to the rhythm.
Sometimes grieving is essential to move on. I have been listening to Dylan sometime now, That particular song does relate too.. depends on my mood I suppose. I am a capricious creature after all.. I feel Dylan is sometimes too sarcastic.. Don't you? And btw you Anonymous commenter sound so much like someone I knew..
No he is not sarcastic. He is just not romantic all the time you know. Sometimes you need to accept the truth. Only then can you move on. Grieving is the beginning, the shock phase, but not the means or the end. So may be another listen would now help.
Something did help.. thanks anyway!
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